Have you ever wanted to do something so bad that you couldn’t stop thinking about it?
But then you somehow talked yourself out of it? Maybe you convinced yourself that you were too busy to do it. OR that you weren’t qualified enough. Smart enough. Fit enough. Experienced enough. Tough enough. You name it, we can certainly be our own worst enemy when it comes to championing a dream.
My heart was so inspired by everything I was learning about crickets, it gave me joy to research and learn more. I loved trying new brands and experimenting with ways to bake with the cricket flour, or fun recipes with my smoothie that incorporated the healthy little buggers. Joy is putting it lightly, it excited me to know that there is a food solution that is so good for you AND so good for our planet. But then I’d go back to “work” doing what I’ve been trained to do, what I went to school to do and what I’ve always been told I do well. It didn’t fill my soul, it didn’t exactly light me up, but I was grateful to have a good career.
I did love working with entrepreneurs – witnessing their excitement and passion, and helping them to build a brand and brand story that would help share and sell their dream. THAT was truly a gift and indeed the best part of my job. I was inspired by their bravery and determination, how on earth did they do that? Were they nuts? Thrill-seekers? Or were they simply filled with that excitement and love for something so much that it drove them past the fear?
Wake up call! After a few slow months at my job I started to realize something. 25 years doing the same thing had left me with very little ambition to get out there and stir up more work. (Something that you have to do when you own your own creative agency and times get slow.) I tried, don’t get me wrong, I did the “tasks” of sending emails, designing clever postcards, tapping into existing clients, but my heart wasn’t into it.
My thoughts went to the crickets. What could I do that would encourage others to try them? How could I make a difference in people’s health and nutrition? How could I help the planet with this sweet little insect?
What stopped me? Fear. Plain and simple, I was afraid to jump. So I went back to work day after day for another year, gave it my best (half-hearted) shot. Fear is such a funny thing, it sneaks in when you least expect it and takes hold of you in ways you can’t even see. As a former business coach of mine would say “You can’t read the label if you’re in the bottle.” My label was saying “out of date” “expired” and for God sakes, move on and chase your dream for crying out loud! It took a lot of Big, and I do mean BIG changes.
I had to start paying attention to the people I had in my life. Very close attention. Why are they in my life? Why are these people my friends? Why do I invest my personal time with this chosen crew? How about my partner? Is he floating my boat (so to speak) or does he put holes in it? Sadly I came to a conclusion that was a bit hard to swallow. I had managed to surround myself with nice people that meant well and that I chose to stick around with because they were there, and they had been around a long time. But they were not encouraging, in fact, after spending time with them I would feel like I’m failing at something. Parenting, or working out, or my career, or how I was as a friend. I didn’t feel good. I felt horrible, in fact. What was I doing with these people?
Change is scary. Being honest is hard. Taking a leap is well… it’s frightening! But I finally did it. I let go of the toxic relationships. I divorced my needy, boat sinking husband and I left my career. Holy crap! Now, look at what I’ve done! After all that upheaval I would like to tell you that I felt FREE and happy, but I didn’t. I felt scared and paralyzed. What had I done?
Fast forward to now. (over a year later) I’m starting to grow into the me that I’ve always been deep down. I’m finally starting to love myself and have kindness towards me. Forgiveness. Yes, I fail and I have plenty (trust me when I say plenty) of opportunities for improvement. But I’m here, I’m happy, I’m present and I’m finally living MY life. Chasing after my dream as fearlessly as I can. New people are entering my life, and they are supportive, inspiring and honest. They make me want to be better, but they love me for where I am now and encourage me every day. This is how it’s supposed to be.
We are hard enough on our selves, we do not need to surround ourselves with people that bring us down. Life is hard, being a human is hard. Let’s find those that are kind and let’s support one another.
Let’s be brave! If you have a voice in your heart that is begging you to listen, please listen. We are all born the same, we all die the same. It’s the time in between that we get to choose how we do it, and what we do. Make that time matter. You matter. You are amazing!
I’m off to chase my cricket dreams. What are you going to do?